Jaco Jooking

So after the Serenity of Manuel Antonio, we headed toward Jaco. Jaco with its major exports of tacky hotels, drug dealers and nightlife was felt a neccesary way to break up the trip to the hippie mecca of Montezuma.

As we were driving on the bus, we faintly heard the bus driver whisper Jaco Jaco, so we grabbed out stuff and jumped off the bus with an english friend from Cornwall we met en route.

We were told that the cheapest hostel around was located across from the omnipotent smiling face of the Colonel so we headed in the direction of the KFC. We found the hostel, staffed by two Hungarian Bohemian types (wait bohemia is in Germany right). The boyfriend of the hostel owning couple seemed more concerned with partying and surfing than running an effective business model but was definetly pretty chill. His g-f on the other hand, was a horse of a different colour. Perhaps because her b'f often abandoned his duties as owner to catch tasty waves, she lived for passive agressive pushes of overpriced travel packages.

Sample Conversation

Hostel Owner: You know the fastest way to montezuma is the speed boat right?
Jesse: Yes
H-O: Well I´m not trying to pressure you but you should really buy the speed boat ticket from us
Jesse: I think we are going to take the local bus instead to save money
H-O: Oh, well, uhh, I dont mean to be rude but the local bus is very slow and unreliable
Jesse: We are ok with that
H-O: Look if you don´t want to buy the speed boat ticket from me I understand, but I assure you we are the cheapest around
Jesse: Its not that we don´t trust you, we just dont want the speed boat
H-O: Oh ok, well uhh, just remember that the speed boat is the fastest and again no pressure, but please buy it from me
Jesse: Ok im going to go get some fried chicken
N.B. That last line is the end of many a dialogue here and can be used to segue out of just about any conversation

The beach at Jaco was pretty underwhelming, so we shared a cab with two 30 yr olds we met from California as well as our Cornish Game Friend (ba dum dum) Hutchy to Playa Hermosa. Playa hermosa is a beautiful black sand beach, with probably the fiercest ripe-tide I have ever encountered. After playing on the beach, interacting with some loveable if mangy stray dogs, and enjoiyng a happy hour with free bocas (appies), we decided we were ready to hit the famous or rather infamous Jaco nightlife.

We rounded up whomever was at the hostel to hit the town. Along with our Playa Hermosa infantry we accumulated a bunch of 18 yr old girls who acted so much their age, I practically expected Heisey to hit on them. We all pounded Nicaraguan Rum (Flor de Cana has become an official sponsor of the trip) and tried to find the it bar. While we struggled to find a place that suited our taste we were offered drugs not once, not twice, but 17 times. The most hilarious of these semi-awkward encounters was when a boy of about 16 came up to us in perfect english and said ¨¿hey guys, do you want some great chronic?¨When we responded with something more complex than simple si ou no he simply said Que???

After walking our buzz off to find a club that wasnt complete with smoke machine and local hookers, we finally settled on a shitty house bar, pounded a beer each and got ready to leave the sin-filled den that was Jaco.